Thoughts on Ordination

Last Sunday evening I received what I consider to be the greatest honor I will ever receive, and also the greatest responsibility I will ever receive. I was ordained by the Wesleyan Church for a life-time of ministry and service to the church. I am now officially a Reverend (I would love to see the look on faces of people I grew up with if they were to ever find out about this).

It was a great service and the leaders laid their hands on me and prayed over me. My family, my friends, people from our church in Sheridan, and best of all some of my old students were there to see it.

So many thoughts were going through my head during the whole thing… here are some of them.

1. The General Superintendent who oversaw the service delivered the sermon. He began by quoting John Wesley (if you read this and you aren’t a Wesleyan, let me just fill you in… he is kind of an important figure in our tradition). Wesleyan wrote a list of instructions to ministers (if you read this and you are a Wesleyan, this list is still in our Discipline and you should read it and live it) and the last thing on the list is, “You have nothing to do but save souls, you should spend and be spent in this.”

This is the call of a minister… a ministers life is singular in purpose; other peoples souls, other peoples lives, other people period. But Wesley didn’t just stop at that. He said we must “spend and be spent in this.” To spend means whatever is mine is to be used for this end and be spent means everything else that I am for this end. This once again feeds fuel to my idea that our fear of burn out is one that great men and women did not and would not share with us. Instead it seems that Wesley is saying keep going until nothing is left and than go a little bit more because there is no greater use of your life.

2. It worked out in the seating at the ceremony that those people closest to me, by chance, were able to sit right behind me. Two people in particular stood out in my mine while I was sitting there, not that everyone there isn’t important… they just weren’t as significant in my mind at the time.

First sitting behind me was the pastor I worked for in Indiana. I met him when I was fourteen years old, eleven years ago. I wasn’t a Christian then and I really didn’t care much for Christians at the time, even though I had learned to fake it pretty well, but I liked this guy. If you know him you are probably like me and you aren’t really sure what it is about him that you like, but you like him anyway. (I know his wife reads my blog and I am sure she just said “amen” out loud). He took an interest in me as soon as he met me. Even though I didn’t trust many people from the church, I trusted him and I really believed that he genuinely cared about me. Four years after we met I became a Christian and he was one of the first people I told. He said with a smile on his face, “Well it’s about time.” A couple months later when I decide to answer a call into ministry he was one of the first people I told. He said with a smile on his face, “Well it’s about time.” Two years after that when I accepted a job at his church to serve as the youth pastor he said, “Well it’s about time.” While I sat there I knew I wouldn’t have been in that chair if it hadn’t been for his investment in my life.

The other person that was sitting behind me was a student of mine. I met him a couple months after I moved to Indiana. The first time we met I knew that he had the fingerprints of God on his life. After much work and a couple threats I finally got him to come to youth group. A couple months later he asked me to mentor him so he could learn more. He was so teachable then. Within that first year he told me that he wanted to be pastor… I told him, “Well, it’s about time.” The rest of his high school years could be described as troubled or hectic. There were times that other adults would come to me and point out all the flaws this young man has wondering why I was such a big fan of his. I knew they were right, they are still right most of the time… but they don’t see how much potential he has. He is in college now working on the same ministry degree I earned. I am so proud of him… so disappointed that he hasn’t figured out some personal stuff yet. I am so excited about his future… so worried about the things he is doing now. I sat there thinking about him… begging God that he would just get it, wanting him to follow in my footsteps, hoping he would pass me one day.

I sat there with my family sitting behind me. The generation before me and the generation after me both witnessing this step forward.

3. When I knelt and the leaders put their hands on me, the General Superintendent prayer over me that I was, “Committing myself to a lifetime of ministry.” I prayed to God while they prayed for me. I told God that He knows that a lifetime to ministry is what I want more than anything else… but my circumstances don’t seem to be allowing it right now. I knelt there thinking about how much I love ministering for the church, how much I love being part of the church, how much I want to make a difference for the Kingdom, and how I am not doing anything right now. I though about how I have a job at a church, I have a title, I get a pay check every month… but how I don’t have a ministry. I knelt there thinking about how it feels like I was tricked into taking a indefinite sabbatical at 25 years old. I knelt there thinking how I am more than willing to live up to my side of the commitment but I needed God to allow my circumstances to do the same. I thought about how every day I am sitting in this same coffee shop waiting to minister to the next person that God sends for me to talk to, how every day I wait for the phone to ring with some need from our church that I can take care of, and how everyday I wake up and before I get out of bed I beg God that some church would call me back and offer me a job… but there are so few people to talk to and my phone doesn’t ring. I am totally committed… and just waiting.

It was a good night; I still have a lot to think about. It was a huge step forward… but now I am waiting for the next one so I can live out that last one.