“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
August 28, 1963
It is possible that the memory of Dr. Martin Luther King has never carried more meaning and significance than it does today on the eve on the inauguration of our nation’s first black president. I have already heard a number of times today the question, “What do you think Dr. King would think of what is about to happen?” I agree with most of the answers that have been given. I believe that the eighty year old civil rights leader would rest well tonight in the full assurance that the battle for equal rights has in landed, in this moment, securely in its finally resting place of our history books. It is a battle that is won, whereas our children and their children will never again see a black man, and hopefully any man of color, and believe they could ever be limited of position because of their race.
That being said, I also believe that the same eighty year old pastor and ambassador of Christ to the world would carry a great burden today. He’s dream was not just one where men would not be judged by the color of their skin… but would be judged by the “content of their character.” Those old color blinded eyes would see a nation that would appear seriously lacking in the realm of character, justice, and peace. I don’t believe that Dr. King was primarily speaking to our government and lawmakers but to every man and woman and children that desired a better country and a better world. And I believe he would still have much to say.
What is equality worth, if we all find ourselves equally in the despair of a morally bankrupt existence? Is it enough that we don’t judge others by what they look like on the outside if we also choose to turn a blind eye to what we ourselves look like on the inside? When I read the words of Dr. King I still hope for a better nation, a better world, a better future… all of which are less and less contingent on race relations with every passing moment. The future we should strive for is one where we are willing to judge ourselves and others on the content of their character… one where we choose to fight, at the risk of great personal loss, for justice and honor for our neighbors… and one where we would all be more than willing to gladly give our lives as a martyr for the cause of creating a better world that we know is meant to exist. “I have a dream that my… children will one day live in a nation where they will… be judged… by the content of their character.”
Monday, January 19, 2009
Friday, May 9, 2008
We made it to Greentown
We did make it to Greentown, Indiana Tuesday evening to be greeted by a large number of members from Greentown Wesleyan who got our truck unloaded in no time. We spent most of the day Wednesday unpacking into our temporary apartment here on the Greentown Wesleyan Campus and then both Amanda and I started working in the office on Thursday morning.
For the next couple of months Amanda will stay busy working in the office at Greentown and getting the hang of the daycare operations. I will be filling in as the interim pastor at Kokomo Mt. Zion Wesleyan church which is just a couple of miles from here. At Mt. Zion I am responsible for preaching Sunday Mornings and Sunday Evenings. I am sure this is going to be a fun time and a great learning experience.
Now that we are going to be back to some what of a normal schedule, the blog updates should be coming more regularly.
Monday, January 28, 2008
I may not have a daytime TV show, but I do have a book list!
While my ample free time over the past 9 months has caused more than its share of frustration, it has also provided me with the ability to accomplish something I have never had the opportunity to do before. I am not talking about beating certain XBOX games, but I’ve been doing that too. I am talking about reading every book, blog, magazine and article that seems interesting to me… and I literally mean every!
When I was in elementary school I was diagnosed as being gifted and dyslexic at the same time which meant I was smart enough to hide that fact that I didn’t really start understanding anything I read until I was in the fourth or fifth. I didn’t like reading in middle school because my parents treated it like a chore, and when I was in high school I was preoccupied with too many other things; most of which could be referred to as ‘she’ or ‘her.’ Then in college I was taking a full load of classes, working full time, and spending two hours a day driving from school and back everyday… I didn’t even read all the books I was suppose to, let alone the ones I wanted to.
But for now all that has changed. And I have been reading some great stuff; from architecture to engineering to art to product and graphic design to business and management to theology to you-name-it. I am just praying that God puts me somewhere that I can use all this stuff I’m learning. But either way I thought I would abstract some of my recent favorites here:
Six Thinking Hats, by Edward De Bono.
This is a management book about ‘parallel thinking’ which is a totally different direction in cooperated decision making and running meetings. The idea is that you get people to think in the same direction at the same time to come up with better solutions and game-plans which by design everyone will come to an agreement with together. One of my favorite light-bulb moments in the book was when the author explained that thinking is a skill that can be improved with practice. I highly recommend this book.
The Brand Gap, by Marty Neumeier
This is a marketing book about what branding is and how it can work best. It is called a “whiteboard overview” which means that it is written in a very engaging layout. It was a symbol read about a very complex subject. I go so many great ideas from this book for how to reorganize a church. It was all about marketing and branding but I saw so much that would be perfect for small groups. My favorite light-bulb moment was the three evaluation questions every organization should ask itself before they try to move forward; Who are we? What do we do? And why does it matter?
The One Minute Manager, by Ken Balnchard
This is another management book about how to be the best manager possible. It is a short book packed with a ton of great information. It is written as an allegory which makes it a super-fast read. It breaks the One Minute Management model into three basic principles; Goal Setting, Praising and Reprimanding. My favorite light-bulb moment was that a good manager is someone that helps people reach their full potential and this is the source of positive results and efficiently. I think if more pastors practiced this we’d have a lot of healthier churches.
Beautiful Evidence, by Edward Tufte
This is a book about the visual communication of statistical data. The book is both visually stunning with more full color images than any over book I’ve ever seen and incredibly well written. I’m not sure if it was written as a text book or not but there is a ton of great insights and concepts here. My favorite light-bulb moment was a chapter about the dangers and downfalls of using slideware programs like PowerPoint in teaching. Tufte talked about how PP lowers the bar on thought and communication by both the presenter and the consumer. He then gave some great solutions for giving presentations without PowerPoint.
When I was in elementary school I was diagnosed as being gifted and dyslexic at the same time which meant I was smart enough to hide that fact that I didn’t really start understanding anything I read until I was in the fourth or fifth. I didn’t like reading in middle school because my parents treated it like a chore, and when I was in high school I was preoccupied with too many other things; most of which could be referred to as ‘she’ or ‘her.’ Then in college I was taking a full load of classes, working full time, and spending two hours a day driving from school and back everyday… I didn’t even read all the books I was suppose to, let alone the ones I wanted to.
But for now all that has changed. And I have been reading some great stuff; from architecture to engineering to art to product and graphic design to business and management to theology to you-name-it. I am just praying that God puts me somewhere that I can use all this stuff I’m learning. But either way I thought I would abstract some of my recent favorites here:
Six Thinking Hats, by Edward De Bono.
This is a management book about ‘parallel thinking’ which is a totally different direction in cooperated decision making and running meetings. The idea is that you get people to think in the same direction at the same time to come up with better solutions and game-plans which by design everyone will come to an agreement with together. One of my favorite light-bulb moments in the book was when the author explained that thinking is a skill that can be improved with practice. I highly recommend this book.
The Brand Gap, by Marty Neumeier
This is a marketing book about what branding is and how it can work best. It is called a “whiteboard overview” which means that it is written in a very engaging layout. It was a symbol read about a very complex subject. I go so many great ideas from this book for how to reorganize a church. It was all about marketing and branding but I saw so much that would be perfect for small groups. My favorite light-bulb moment was the three evaluation questions every organization should ask itself before they try to move forward; Who are we? What do we do? And why does it matter?
The One Minute Manager, by Ken Balnchard
This is another management book about how to be the best manager possible. It is a short book packed with a ton of great information. It is written as an allegory which makes it a super-fast read. It breaks the One Minute Management model into three basic principles; Goal Setting, Praising and Reprimanding. My favorite light-bulb moment was that a good manager is someone that helps people reach their full potential and this is the source of positive results and efficiently. I think if more pastors practiced this we’d have a lot of healthier churches.
Beautiful Evidence, by Edward Tufte
This is a book about the visual communication of statistical data. The book is both visually stunning with more full color images than any over book I’ve ever seen and incredibly well written. I’m not sure if it was written as a text book or not but there is a ton of great insights and concepts here. My favorite light-bulb moment was a chapter about the dangers and downfalls of using slideware programs like PowerPoint in teaching. Tufte talked about how PP lowers the bar on thought and communication by both the presenter and the consumer. He then gave some great solutions for giving presentations without PowerPoint.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Amanda's Christmas Party with the Nazarenes
Last night I went with Amanda to her work Christmas party. It was a nice time meeting new people and the food was pretty good.
One of the people that works at the Nazarene headquarters with her gave a devotional thought during the little program they had. He recounted a Sunday School class he attended one year while he was home from college on Christmas break. He said how he walked into the class thinking, “I am a college sophomore who has taken, and passed, Old Testament and New Testament from people with PhDs. What does this old woman think she is going to teach me about Christmas that I don’t already know?” He said the woman came in and said, “We all know about Christmas; where Jesus was born, what it meant, and so one. We all know how Jesus lived; what he taught and how he treated people. We all know that Jesus gave himself as a sacrifice for us.” She said, “We all know these things,” to which he replied in his mind, “Of course I know all these things! I have taken, and passed, Old Testament and New Testament from people with PhDs.” But then she said, “So I only have one question for you this morning… How much do you think God must love you to have done so much for you?” The speaker said that the question knifed right through all of his pride and arrogance. He told that as the tears began to roll down his cheeks that morning, he realized that if God really loved him that much then it was time to start doing everything he could to reciprocate that love. He said, “It was that Sunday morning sitting in Sunday School that I was sanctified because I had finally realized how much God loved me… even me!”
I wanted to stand up and shout! I have been in church before when people have talked about when they decided to be a Christian… but this is the first time I ever recall someone “bearing witness” to sanctification in a church meeting. I have heard a handful of people talk about the “work of sanctification” and the “process of sanctification” where they have gone on and on about theology of it all using this illustration and that illustration, but this guy told us about the when, why and how. I loved it!
We ended the little program by singing “Joy to the World” by Issac Watts. I was still being washed over by the speaker’s story when we got to the second verse of the old hymn:
No more let sins and sorrows grow,Nor thorns infest the ground;He comes to make His blessings flowFar as the curse is found,Far as the curse is found,Far as, far as, the curse is found.
And there it is. The same message, that we’ve sung every year… but at least for me, never really ever took notice of. We have freedom from sins and sorrow… they are conquered. The thorns are conquered because of the redemption that Christ’s Kingdom brings. We can now be filled with His blessings that are freely flowing. Sanctification is here!
It was in the company of so many Nazarene’s last night, that I became quite burdened from my church, the church God has called me to served… but also for the rest of God’s kingdom (Nazarenes and all). If we stop offering people the real life changing power of the message of sanctification… are really offering them anything at all? First the thought came to me: Aren’t we just wasting their time and taking their money? But then I realized: Aren’t we wasting God’s time? God’s birth? God’s life? God’s death and resurrection? And the Joy that He is offering the world to be free from sin and sorrow, and the opportunity to live fully redeemed?
One of the people that works at the Nazarene headquarters with her gave a devotional thought during the little program they had. He recounted a Sunday School class he attended one year while he was home from college on Christmas break. He said how he walked into the class thinking, “I am a college sophomore who has taken, and passed, Old Testament and New Testament from people with PhDs. What does this old woman think she is going to teach me about Christmas that I don’t already know?” He said the woman came in and said, “We all know about Christmas; where Jesus was born, what it meant, and so one. We all know how Jesus lived; what he taught and how he treated people. We all know that Jesus gave himself as a sacrifice for us.” She said, “We all know these things,” to which he replied in his mind, “Of course I know all these things! I have taken, and passed, Old Testament and New Testament from people with PhDs.” But then she said, “So I only have one question for you this morning… How much do you think God must love you to have done so much for you?” The speaker said that the question knifed right through all of his pride and arrogance. He told that as the tears began to roll down his cheeks that morning, he realized that if God really loved him that much then it was time to start doing everything he could to reciprocate that love. He said, “It was that Sunday morning sitting in Sunday School that I was sanctified because I had finally realized how much God loved me… even me!”
I wanted to stand up and shout! I have been in church before when people have talked about when they decided to be a Christian… but this is the first time I ever recall someone “bearing witness” to sanctification in a church meeting. I have heard a handful of people talk about the “work of sanctification” and the “process of sanctification” where they have gone on and on about theology of it all using this illustration and that illustration, but this guy told us about the when, why and how. I loved it!
We ended the little program by singing “Joy to the World” by Issac Watts. I was still being washed over by the speaker’s story when we got to the second verse of the old hymn:
No more let sins and sorrows grow,Nor thorns infest the ground;He comes to make His blessings flowFar as the curse is found,Far as the curse is found,Far as, far as, the curse is found.
And there it is. The same message, that we’ve sung every year… but at least for me, never really ever took notice of. We have freedom from sins and sorrow… they are conquered. The thorns are conquered because of the redemption that Christ’s Kingdom brings. We can now be filled with His blessings that are freely flowing. Sanctification is here!
It was in the company of so many Nazarene’s last night, that I became quite burdened from my church, the church God has called me to served… but also for the rest of God’s kingdom (Nazarenes and all). If we stop offering people the real life changing power of the message of sanctification… are really offering them anything at all? First the thought came to me: Aren’t we just wasting their time and taking their money? But then I realized: Aren’t we wasting God’s time? God’s birth? God’s life? God’s death and resurrection? And the Joy that He is offering the world to be free from sin and sorrow, and the opportunity to live fully redeemed?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Light in Dark Places
It is interesting to me how bad things always seems to be worse than good things seem to be good. Everyone would agree that we like good things better than bad things, but when we are faced with both in our life… we choose to set our focus on the bad, and at times even flat out ignore the good.
I am teaching a Bible study on the book of Jonah right now, and in my readings this morning I came across a quote from G. Campbell Morgan which said, “Men have been looking so hard at the great fish that they have failed to see the great God.” This wise point seems to apply, at least to me, to so much more than just the book of Jonah. As I have been reading the little book over and over again, I have been amazed by only one thing about the story’s anti-hero. Jonah does everything wrong and is portrayed as the worst prophet there could have ever been, but he shines in one area that I cannot. There he is lying in the belly of the big fish… and he isn’t even focusing on it. He doesn’t sing a song to the “grossness of the fish” but a song to the “greatness of God.” The story of Jonah brings light to the dark place of the fish’s belly.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think Jonah enjoyed being in the fish… I know I don’t. But I think Jonah remembered that he did enjoy being in the presence of the Lord which he was fleeing from. I am not fleeing from him, but maybe I forget how much I enjoy being where He wants me… because I’m not sure this is it.
But there is light and good here. I couldn’t begin to tell you how much I am learning about me and people and God and the church (and coffee). There are these 5 or 6 teenagers that come every Tuesday night to listen to me talk about the Kingdom of God and I think they are getting it, this one girl who is going to be a great pastor one day just soaks it all in which tears in her eyes the whole time I’m talking. I was her once and it was great! I have coffee with this guy once a week and we talk about his marriage and his relationship with God and his life is changing. I don’t know if this was where I was supposed to be or not, but even if it is just by God’s consequential will… I’m still doing a little good I guess. He keeps giving me little encouragements here and there with job offers I know aren’t right for me but it is nice to get them anyway… and the one place I really want to go hasn’t told me no yet so I’m holding tight to that little bit of hope.
Maybe the fish really isn’t as big as I think it is… or maybe it is and God is just that much bigger than I thought He was. Either way, I really hope I can see Him more than I have… and these next couple months pass as fast as they can.
I am teaching a Bible study on the book of Jonah right now, and in my readings this morning I came across a quote from G. Campbell Morgan which said, “Men have been looking so hard at the great fish that they have failed to see the great God.” This wise point seems to apply, at least to me, to so much more than just the book of Jonah. As I have been reading the little book over and over again, I have been amazed by only one thing about the story’s anti-hero. Jonah does everything wrong and is portrayed as the worst prophet there could have ever been, but he shines in one area that I cannot. There he is lying in the belly of the big fish… and he isn’t even focusing on it. He doesn’t sing a song to the “grossness of the fish” but a song to the “greatness of God.” The story of Jonah brings light to the dark place of the fish’s belly.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think Jonah enjoyed being in the fish… I know I don’t. But I think Jonah remembered that he did enjoy being in the presence of the Lord which he was fleeing from. I am not fleeing from him, but maybe I forget how much I enjoy being where He wants me… because I’m not sure this is it.
But there is light and good here. I couldn’t begin to tell you how much I am learning about me and people and God and the church (and coffee). There are these 5 or 6 teenagers that come every Tuesday night to listen to me talk about the Kingdom of God and I think they are getting it, this one girl who is going to be a great pastor one day just soaks it all in which tears in her eyes the whole time I’m talking. I was her once and it was great! I have coffee with this guy once a week and we talk about his marriage and his relationship with God and his life is changing. I don’t know if this was where I was supposed to be or not, but even if it is just by God’s consequential will… I’m still doing a little good I guess. He keeps giving me little encouragements here and there with job offers I know aren’t right for me but it is nice to get them anyway… and the one place I really want to go hasn’t told me no yet so I’m holding tight to that little bit of hope.
Maybe the fish really isn’t as big as I think it is… or maybe it is and God is just that much bigger than I thought He was. Either way, I really hope I can see Him more than I have… and these next couple months pass as fast as they can.
Friday, October 5, 2007
My Views on Social Drinking
I just read the blog of an old professor of mine (I mean old as in "use to be my professor" of course.) The subject turned into the debate over social drinking in the Wesleyan Church. It was just all the same stuff over again, like how the bible only talks about getting drunk and how its' no different than over-eatting. A couple people defended the Wesleyan view of abstaining... but not too well. So I decided to chime in with my response.
*** If you are not a Wesleyan and reading this please understand that I don't personal view drinking as a moral issue but as a Wesleyan I vowed in my membership to the church and in my ordianation to uphold the views and beliefs of the Wesleyan church, one of which is not to drink alcohol. I do believe it is a moral issue to not live up to your word and I have given my word that I would uphold and defend this beliefs. If you are not a Wesleyan... I am not "preaching" to you about drinking... I promise ***
Here's my response:
"Apart from all the other arguments here, I personally choose to remember that I am Wesleyan. Which for me, reminds me that I am following in the legacy, not so much of the "Holiness Movement," but of one of the most effective and productive agents for the furtherment of the Kingdom, the salvation of lost souls and redemption of culture in all of the history. As a Wesleyan I choose to hold membership in this society and I have been ordained by this church... fully accepting their values and beliefs and promising to uphold them. I don't do this blind to the reasons why I believe what I believe though. I know what the bible says and doesn't say and how it doesn't present the issues around social drinking... they just aren't there. But they weren't in Bible in the 1730's and 1740's either when we (the collective past, present and future "we") saw the social and culture ramification of social alcohol and decided that it just isn't worth it so our organization decided not to participate in it. We chose to hold a high bar and high standards... hopefully not to be prideful and look down on others, even though that has happened. We do this because we are joyfully willing to fully commit to the cause of furthering the movement that once changed the world (and might do so again if we would choose to fight for things that really matter). For me, this is a good enough reason not only to not desire to drink, but also to defend this wise tradition. It has served us well in the past, and if we would choose to embrace it and move on to more important things, it will do so again in the future."
*** If you are not a Wesleyan and reading this please understand that I don't personal view drinking as a moral issue but as a Wesleyan I vowed in my membership to the church and in my ordianation to uphold the views and beliefs of the Wesleyan church, one of which is not to drink alcohol. I do believe it is a moral issue to not live up to your word and I have given my word that I would uphold and defend this beliefs. If you are not a Wesleyan... I am not "preaching" to you about drinking... I promise ***
Here's my response:
"Apart from all the other arguments here, I personally choose to remember that I am Wesleyan. Which for me, reminds me that I am following in the legacy, not so much of the "Holiness Movement," but of one of the most effective and productive agents for the furtherment of the Kingdom, the salvation of lost souls and redemption of culture in all of the history. As a Wesleyan I choose to hold membership in this society and I have been ordained by this church... fully accepting their values and beliefs and promising to uphold them. I don't do this blind to the reasons why I believe what I believe though. I know what the bible says and doesn't say and how it doesn't present the issues around social drinking... they just aren't there. But they weren't in Bible in the 1730's and 1740's either when we (the collective past, present and future "we") saw the social and culture ramification of social alcohol and decided that it just isn't worth it so our organization decided not to participate in it. We chose to hold a high bar and high standards... hopefully not to be prideful and look down on others, even though that has happened. We do this because we are joyfully willing to fully commit to the cause of furthering the movement that once changed the world (and might do so again if we would choose to fight for things that really matter). For me, this is a good enough reason not only to not desire to drink, but also to defend this wise tradition. It has served us well in the past, and if we would choose to embrace it and move on to more important things, it will do so again in the future."
(sorry I haven't felt like writing much lately... pray for us if you would)
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thoughts on Ordination
Last Sunday evening I received what I consider to be the greatest honor I will ever receive, and also the greatest responsibility I will ever receive. I was ordained by the Wesleyan Church for a life-time of ministry and service to the church. I am now officially a Reverend (I would love to see the look on faces of people I grew up with if they were to ever find out about this).
It was a great service and the leaders laid their hands on me and prayed over me. My family, my friends, people from our church in Sheridan, and best of all some of my old students were there to see it.
So many thoughts were going through my head during the whole thing… here are some of them.
1. The General Superintendent who oversaw the service delivered the sermon. He began by quoting John Wesley (if you read this and you aren’t a Wesleyan, let me just fill you in… he is kind of an important figure in our tradition). Wesleyan wrote a list of instructions to ministers (if you read this and you are a Wesleyan, this list is still in our Discipline and you should read it and live it) and the last thing on the list is, “You have nothing to do but save souls, you should spend and be spent in this.”
This is the call of a minister… a ministers life is singular in purpose; other peoples souls, other peoples lives, other people period. But Wesley didn’t just stop at that. He said we must “spend and be spent in this.” To spend means whatever is mine is to be used for this end and be spent means everything else that I am for this end. This once again feeds fuel to my idea that our fear of burn out is one that great men and women did not and would not share with us. Instead it seems that Wesley is saying keep going until nothing is left and than go a little bit more because there is no greater use of your life.
2. It worked out in the seating at the ceremony that those people closest to me, by chance, were able to sit right behind me. Two people in particular stood out in my mine while I was sitting there, not that everyone there isn’t important… they just weren’t as significant in my mind at the time.
First sitting behind me was the pastor I worked for in Indiana. I met him when I was fourteen years old, eleven years ago. I wasn’t a Christian then and I really didn’t care much for Christians at the time, even though I had learned to fake it pretty well, but I liked this guy. If you know him you are probably like me and you aren’t really sure what it is about him that you like, but you like him anyway. (I know his wife reads my blog and I am sure she just said “amen” out loud). He took an interest in me as soon as he met me. Even though I didn’t trust many people from the church, I trusted him and I really believed that he genuinely cared about me. Four years after we met I became a Christian and he was one of the first people I told. He said with a smile on his face, “Well it’s about time.” A couple months later when I decide to answer a call into ministry he was one of the first people I told. He said with a smile on his face, “Well it’s about time.” Two years after that when I accepted a job at his church to serve as the youth pastor he said, “Well it’s about time.” While I sat there I knew I wouldn’t have been in that chair if it hadn’t been for his investment in my life.
The other person that was sitting behind me was a student of mine. I met him a couple months after I moved to Indiana. The first time we met I knew that he had the fingerprints of God on his life. After much work and a couple threats I finally got him to come to youth group. A couple months later he asked me to mentor him so he could learn more. He was so teachable then. Within that first year he told me that he wanted to be pastor… I told him, “Well, it’s about time.” The rest of his high school years could be described as troubled or hectic. There were times that other adults would come to me and point out all the flaws this young man has wondering why I was such a big fan of his. I knew they were right, they are still right most of the time… but they don’t see how much potential he has. He is in college now working on the same ministry degree I earned. I am so proud of him… so disappointed that he hasn’t figured out some personal stuff yet. I am so excited about his future… so worried about the things he is doing now. I sat there thinking about him… begging God that he would just get it, wanting him to follow in my footsteps, hoping he would pass me one day.
I sat there with my family sitting behind me. The generation before me and the generation after me both witnessing this step forward.
3. When I knelt and the leaders put their hands on me, the General Superintendent prayer over me that I was, “Committing myself to a lifetime of ministry.” I prayed to God while they prayed for me. I told God that He knows that a lifetime to ministry is what I want more than anything else… but my circumstances don’t seem to be allowing it right now. I knelt there thinking about how much I love ministering for the church, how much I love being part of the church, how much I want to make a difference for the Kingdom, and how I am not doing anything right now. I though about how I have a job at a church, I have a title, I get a pay check every month… but how I don’t have a ministry. I knelt there thinking about how it feels like I was tricked into taking a indefinite sabbatical at 25 years old. I knelt there thinking how I am more than willing to live up to my side of the commitment but I needed God to allow my circumstances to do the same. I thought about how every day I am sitting in this same coffee shop waiting to minister to the next person that God sends for me to talk to, how every day I wait for the phone to ring with some need from our church that I can take care of, and how everyday I wake up and before I get out of bed I beg God that some church would call me back and offer me a job… but there are so few people to talk to and my phone doesn’t ring. I am totally committed… and just waiting.
It was a good night; I still have a lot to think about. It was a huge step forward… but now I am waiting for the next one so I can live out that last one.
It was a great service and the leaders laid their hands on me and prayed over me. My family, my friends, people from our church in Sheridan, and best of all some of my old students were there to see it.
So many thoughts were going through my head during the whole thing… here are some of them.
1. The General Superintendent who oversaw the service delivered the sermon. He began by quoting John Wesley (if you read this and you aren’t a Wesleyan, let me just fill you in… he is kind of an important figure in our tradition). Wesleyan wrote a list of instructions to ministers (if you read this and you are a Wesleyan, this list is still in our Discipline and you should read it and live it) and the last thing on the list is, “You have nothing to do but save souls, you should spend and be spent in this.”
This is the call of a minister… a ministers life is singular in purpose; other peoples souls, other peoples lives, other people period. But Wesley didn’t just stop at that. He said we must “spend and be spent in this.” To spend means whatever is mine is to be used for this end and be spent means everything else that I am for this end. This once again feeds fuel to my idea that our fear of burn out is one that great men and women did not and would not share with us. Instead it seems that Wesley is saying keep going until nothing is left and than go a little bit more because there is no greater use of your life.
2. It worked out in the seating at the ceremony that those people closest to me, by chance, were able to sit right behind me. Two people in particular stood out in my mine while I was sitting there, not that everyone there isn’t important… they just weren’t as significant in my mind at the time.
First sitting behind me was the pastor I worked for in Indiana. I met him when I was fourteen years old, eleven years ago. I wasn’t a Christian then and I really didn’t care much for Christians at the time, even though I had learned to fake it pretty well, but I liked this guy. If you know him you are probably like me and you aren’t really sure what it is about him that you like, but you like him anyway. (I know his wife reads my blog and I am sure she just said “amen” out loud). He took an interest in me as soon as he met me. Even though I didn’t trust many people from the church, I trusted him and I really believed that he genuinely cared about me. Four years after we met I became a Christian and he was one of the first people I told. He said with a smile on his face, “Well it’s about time.” A couple months later when I decide to answer a call into ministry he was one of the first people I told. He said with a smile on his face, “Well it’s about time.” Two years after that when I accepted a job at his church to serve as the youth pastor he said, “Well it’s about time.” While I sat there I knew I wouldn’t have been in that chair if it hadn’t been for his investment in my life.
The other person that was sitting behind me was a student of mine. I met him a couple months after I moved to Indiana. The first time we met I knew that he had the fingerprints of God on his life. After much work and a couple threats I finally got him to come to youth group. A couple months later he asked me to mentor him so he could learn more. He was so teachable then. Within that first year he told me that he wanted to be pastor… I told him, “Well, it’s about time.” The rest of his high school years could be described as troubled or hectic. There were times that other adults would come to me and point out all the flaws this young man has wondering why I was such a big fan of his. I knew they were right, they are still right most of the time… but they don’t see how much potential he has. He is in college now working on the same ministry degree I earned. I am so proud of him… so disappointed that he hasn’t figured out some personal stuff yet. I am so excited about his future… so worried about the things he is doing now. I sat there thinking about him… begging God that he would just get it, wanting him to follow in my footsteps, hoping he would pass me one day.
I sat there with my family sitting behind me. The generation before me and the generation after me both witnessing this step forward.
3. When I knelt and the leaders put their hands on me, the General Superintendent prayer over me that I was, “Committing myself to a lifetime of ministry.” I prayed to God while they prayed for me. I told God that He knows that a lifetime to ministry is what I want more than anything else… but my circumstances don’t seem to be allowing it right now. I knelt there thinking about how much I love ministering for the church, how much I love being part of the church, how much I want to make a difference for the Kingdom, and how I am not doing anything right now. I though about how I have a job at a church, I have a title, I get a pay check every month… but how I don’t have a ministry. I knelt there thinking about how it feels like I was tricked into taking a indefinite sabbatical at 25 years old. I knelt there thinking how I am more than willing to live up to my side of the commitment but I needed God to allow my circumstances to do the same. I thought about how every day I am sitting in this same coffee shop waiting to minister to the next person that God sends for me to talk to, how every day I wait for the phone to ring with some need from our church that I can take care of, and how everyday I wake up and before I get out of bed I beg God that some church would call me back and offer me a job… but there are so few people to talk to and my phone doesn’t ring. I am totally committed… and just waiting.
It was a good night; I still have a lot to think about. It was a huge step forward… but now I am waiting for the next one so I can live out that last one.
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